Q/A: What’s a more positive way to refer to ‘at-risk’ youth?
Question from Nancy:
Several times in the past week I have had people ask me how to frame “at-risk” youth in a way that uses less deficit-based language. What phrases are you currently using?
Answer from Derek Peterson:
Good morning Nancy,
How to frame a negative into a positive? What a good question? (Kind of like how to make a “slap” hurt a little less. 
I think the question pulls people into a deficit based cultural world view that is based upon a judgement. I am thinking of Luke 6:37 “And judge not, and ye shall not be judged: and condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: release, and ye shall be released” from The American Standard Bible…
I have found that, for the most part, I live in to the stories that people tell about me. If those who have influence upon me believed in me, and communicated those positive expectations, and gave me opportunities to practice and grow into those expectations, and finally celebrated my “relative best” attempts, then, for the most part I lived into those expectations. In my work with youth, I have heard people use the following terms:
1) vulnerable
2) at promise
3) at hope
4) asset deficient (remember DADS, back in the late 90′s? Developmental Assets Deficiency Syndrome?) We killed that pretty fast!!! THANK GOD!!
I think “at risk” is so widely used, and that judgement is so easily given, without any consensus of what is meant. One might call a teen “at risk” because of the following reasons:
1) the adult does not resonate with the teen.
2) the adult does not like the teens behavior.
3) the adult sees the teen as “less than” capable, valuable, or even human.
How would we frame a label that is truly hurtful, judgmental, and wrong in other work with teens? If we are working with obese kids, how do we reframe “overweight” youth? If we are working with youth in detention, how do we reframe “incorrigible” youth? If we are working with youth who are having trouble in school, how do we reframe “low performing” youth? (The labels are still all negative. And, almost any youth quickly translates overweight into fat, or incorrigible into criminal, or low performing into stupid.)
For me, the whole question is wrong. We have no way of knowing the trajectory of any child/youth. We can, through our youth development data sets, identify the likelihood of thriving for a bunch of kids in a defined set, but we CAN NEVER know where ONE INDIVIDUAL youth, from that set, will end up.
I always expect to be surprised. Sure, I can get a snapshot of where a youth fits in with his cohort, but that snapshot is akin to a Tibetan sand painting, and should be wiped clear, time and time again. One snapshot does not define the trajectory of a teen. It is through love and relationship that we are able to fully support a youth, into the life that unfolds before him/her.
Nope, NO ASSET person should use the label “at risk.” It is meaningless. It is quackery. It drives the mind, and the community to ridiculous actions, that, too often, further harm kids.
I know that we all live in a deficit based culture, and are paid to identify and fix problems, repair broken teens, and make dysfunctional families and communities work. However, what asset based thinking brings to the conversation is that 1) everybody has things that are RIGHT about them, 2) we can fix a problem by approaching the solution through our strengths and competencies, 3) we can’t repair a broken teen, but we can show him/her her resilience, and have them understand that we have all been broken at one time or another, and we’ll probably become broken again – life is difficult, and 4) we can’t make anyone do anything. All we can do is enter their circle, support others in seeing the world through different eyes, provide the tools and knowledge to move toward their identified goal and way of being, and then to work along side them to make it all happen.. CELEBRATING and LAUGHING all the way, while constantly rewarding RELATIVE BEST.
Onward, always and forever, onward…
Derek Peterson
Institute for Community & Adolescent Resiliency
WWW.ICAR-US.COM
Free Resource for Educators! Tales Told Twice: Exploring Life Lessons in Literature
The YMCA Center for Asset Development introduces a new resource for elementary educators. Tales Told Twice: Exploring Life Lessons in Literature is a FREE download full of activities and writing prompts for 4th–5th graders. This book connects literature with Developmental Assets by using experiential activities that help students more fully ‘experience’ the books and their wisdom. Educators and students like these educational activities because they help learning come alive for students, they promote healthy relationships in the classroom, they foster a caring school climate, and they build strong character in students. These activities have all been tested, energized and sustained within multiple classroom and youth program settings.
Email Ann@TheAssetEdge.net to get your free copy of the curriculum!
Across the Wide River – Book Review
Stephanie Reed’s novel, Across the Wide River, is based on the true story of the Rankin family living along the Ohio River in the 1820s during the heightening tensions between slave owners and abolitionists. It’s the story of a young boy’s journey to free slaves by helping them on the Underground Railway. It gives readers a really good feel for the emotional, economical, spiritual and political debate around slavery. It is a powerful story of faith and courage, as the Rankin family sacrifices to do what is right and challenge others to do what’s right. It is a story of adventure and risk, as youth and adults navigate hostile communities and the Underground Railroad. It’s a tale of self-discovery and growing confidence, as young Lowry overcomes the insecurities brought on by his peers to seek his own place in the world. It’s a story of family and community. It’s a story of finding ways to fight injustice – finding a way to help others – whether you are 9 or 89 years old.
It’s an educational and inspirational read, and I hope it will inspire readers to explore injustices in their own communities and find a way to make a difference. Stephanie Reed is a great story-teller, and I look forward to reading more of her books. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys historical fiction, as well as students who want to explore American history. It would also be a great story for families of 3-9th grade children to read together.
Explore more about Stephanie’s books:
Learn more about serving others:
- If you know children that want to find opportunities to help solve social problems, check out www.kidscareclubs.com.
- If you know youth groups that want to serve together to make a difference in their communities, check out my book, Ready to Go Service Projects.
- If you know adults that want to serve, contact your local volunteer center or visit www.volunteermatch.org.
10 Minutes Together: Points for Life
Between full-time jobs and running a household, sometimes the best we can do as parents is to squeeze in ten minutes of quality time with our kids! These quick-and-easy “Ten Minutes Together” lessons are designed to help parents and kids on-the-go make the most of their busy lives together.
10 Minutes Together: Points for Life: A budgeting and planning game that will get kids excited about their future!
(This is an activity that Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor wrote for ParentFurther.org. They have a zillion tools and ideas for parents, so take time to visit their site!)
10 Minutes Together: Tracking Your Savings Goals
Life Lessons for Busy Parents
Between full-time jobs and running a household, sometimes the best we can do as parents is to squeeze in ten minutes of quality time with our kids! These quick-and-easy “Ten Minutes Together” lessons are designed to help parents and kids on-the-go make the most of their busy lives together.
10 Minutes Together: Tracking Your Savings Goals : A quick lesson in goal setting, tracking, and celebrating!
(This is an activity that Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor wrote for ParentFurther.org. They have a zillion tools and ideas for parents, so take time to visit their site!)
Wanting More than Just Success
I was challenged last night when I read Novelist Toni Morrison’s exhortations to the 2011 graduating class at the State University of New Jersey in Rutgers:
“I have often wished that Jefferson had not used that phrase ‘the pursuit of happiness’ as the third right … I would rather he had written, ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of meaningfulness’ or ‘integrity’ or ‘truth.’ I know that happiness has been the real, if covert, goal of your labors here. I know that it informs your choice of companions, the profession you will enter. But I urge you, please do not settle for happiness. It’s not good enough. Personal success devoid of meaningfulness, free of a steady commitment to social justice — that’s more than a barren life; it’s a trivial one. It’s looking good instead of doing good.”
What are you seeking in your life?
What are you encouraging young people to seek?
Let’s not be satisfied with success alone.
The Temptation of Power
“What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.”
- Henri J.M. Nouwen
Susan’s Reflections on the Quote: I read the above and thought about how pervasive the act of substitution is in our culture often without our society even realizing that it’s taking the easy way out! In any school system or place of work, you find checklists and benchmarks that seek to hold us ‘accountable’ for what is done. And yet, too frequently these very benchmarks become the object, focus and efforts of our work instead of the people with whom we’re engaging and trying to serve/impact/help. We have to hit the numbers and we race towards them with bulldog tenacity to prove worth. And so, many agencies, beyond the education system, end up ‘teaching to the test’ (checklists/benchmarks) instead of keeping our eyes and energies focused on doing the hard work of love of children, coworkers and customers.
Ann’s Reflections on the Quote:
- Which do I value more – controlling/managing people or loving people? (coworkers, youth, my own children…) Do my actions reflect my values?
- Do I spend more time controlling my life than living my life? (calendars, phones, emails…)
Everyday Ways to Foster Independence in Kids
This is actually a parenting post, but I think it has great applications for educators and youth workers. The primary topics relate to independent play time, dealing with frustrations, handling conflict, and conversation styles. Read the full article here.
Child Development – Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
I stumbled into 3 conversations about Maslow’s Hierarcy of Needs last week, so I thought I would remind you of his simple and practical research. Let’s remember to help meet children’s basic needs before we expect them to succeed on the higher levels of the developmental scale. And to remind other educators to remember as well!
Working Together for Community Change
At the Big Tent conference, youth and adult attendees responded to the question, “What must we do together that we cannot do alone?” An intergenerational team sorted responses and developed this call to action, which conference participants were asked to commit to advancing in the coming year.
We believe the world is better when . . .
• Youth have a voice;
• People lead and live with love and respect; and
• We work together toward a common vision.
Therefore we must unite to . . .
• Engage in intergenerational, shared leadership;
• Boldly build bridges across differences;
• Abolish violence and bullying; and
• Invest ourselves in growing and learning in mind, body and spirit.
Caffeine: Today’s Drug of Choice?
As much as we worry about teaching our kids not to drink and smoke, parents and educators may not take much notice of another commonly abused substance: caffeine. A study published in the Journal of Pediatrics reports that 75 percent of children surveyed consume caffeine on a daily basis. Study authors from the University of Nebraska Medical Center stress the importance of parental awareness of caffeine’s more harmful effects on developing kids and teens. Watch the news video at Connect with Kids here.
Playtime amidst Crazy Schedules
(from Connect for Kids)
Everybody needs a little playtime – even turtles – according to new research from the University of Tennessee. They say that playtime, may, in fact, make for a life worth living. So what about kids, who with academics and sports and dance and theater are too-often often-scheduled and over-stressed? Some experts have a solution…to schedule in free time. “[That] sounds kind of paradoxical to all of us,” says psychologist Nadine Kaslow, “but I do think planning for free time or for down time is very, very important for children.”
What We Need To Know
Organized activities outside of a child’s school day certainly have their benefits: social skills, self-discipline, physical exercise and sportsmanship, exploration and enjoyment, to name a few. For some families, however, an over-scheduled existence may be fueled by a desire not to be left out or to build the resume of extracurricular activities that students and parents view as necessary for college admissions.
According to experts at Kids Health, even those parents who try to help their children cut back on some activities can run up against coaches who won’t tolerate absences and kids who want to keep up with their friends. The key is to schedule things in moderation and choose activities with a child’s age, temperament, interests, and abilities in mind. Here are some simple suggestions:
- Agree on ground rules ahead of time: For instance, plan on kids playing one sport per season or limit activities to two afternoons or evenings during the school week.
- Know how much time is required: For example, will there be time to practice between lessons? Does your child realize that soccer practice is twice a week, right after school until dinnertime? Then there’s the weekly game, too. Will homework suffer?
- Keep a calendar to stay organized: Display it on the refrigerator or other prominent spot so that everybody can stay up-to-date. And if you find an empty space on the calendar, leave it alone!
- Even if kids sign up for the season, let them miss one or two sessions: Sometimes taking the opportunity to hang out on a beautiful day is more important than going to one more activity, even if you’ve already paid for it.
- Set priorities: School should come first. If kids have a hard time keeping up academically, they may need to drop an activity.
- Know when to say no: If your child is already doing a lot but really wants to take on another activity, discuss what other activity or activities need to be dropped to make room for the new one.
- Remember the importance of downtime: Everyone needs a chance to relax, reflect on the day, or just do nothing.
Signs that your family and your child are overscheduled include always eating meals on the go, the kids are always tired, there’s a drop in grades, and constant complaints about going to practice or games. Signs that your child does not do well with a lot of spare time, on the other hand, include depression, anxiety and loneliness.
Make sure, despite their busy schedule, to keep lines of communication open with your children. Use time in the car to listen – and to talk about their lives.
Resources
- Is Your Child Too Busy from Kids Health
- Avoiding Teen Burnout from Family Education.com
- Even Turtles Need Recess: University of Tennessee Research
Read the full article from Connect for Kids here.
Impossible?
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.
from an Adidas commercial
Our Newest Book – “Get Things Going”
From Editor Karl Anderson’s Search Institute Press listserve announcement of the book:
This title is a new version of our earlier booklet Get Things Going: 50 Asset-Building Activities for Workshops, Presentations, and Meetings, but it has been largely rewritten by Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor (authors of Great Group Games, Great Group Games for Kids, and Building Character from the Start) and expanded to include 85 engaging activities, most of which are brand new to this edition.
Here is some more information about the book:
Get Things Going is a resource featuring 85 fun-filled activities to transform meetings, workshops, trainings, and group culture. This thoroughly revised new edition by Great Group Games authors Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor features:
• A refreshing collection of icebreakers and mixers that will help your group get acquainted with each other and set the tone
for your time together.
• A variety of team-building activities that focus specifically on increasing participants’ knowledge and understanding of the 40 assets.
• Interactive games for intergenerational audiences.
• Meeting closers that help participants reflect on the information, and spark enthusiasm for continued involvement with asset building.
Get Things Going! is perfect for team leaders, staff, coalition members, or those who want to lead activities that engage others, build trust, zone in on respect and understanding, emphasize vision, and incorporate the Developmental Assets in creative and meaningful ways.
Assessing What Teens Think About Themselves – A Guide to Self-Concept of Adolescents
Check out the intro to this article from childtrends.org:
Children in the United States tend to experience a decline in positive self-concept during their adolescent years. This decline often begins around age 12 for girls and around age 14 for boys. For some, the decline can become severe in early adolescence (between the ages 14 and 16) before generally recovering in the mid-teen years.
Having a negative selfconcept during adolescence has been associated with maladaptive behaviors and emotions. In contrast, having a positive self-concept has been linked to positive social and emotional development. This brief discusses child and adolescent self-concept and provides information for out-of-school time program practitioners on how to assess self-concept among program participants. The brief also suggests ways that program practitioners can foster positive selfconcept in adolescents.
Three factors that I really like about this article:
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eight domains that make up an adolescent’s self-concept
- signs of negative self-concept
- strategies to improve a negative self-concept
Read the entire article here…
