Summer Days are a 12-part blog series focused on lessons of gratitude passed on from dog to human. This human is still trying to embrace daily the lessons of gratitude, so much so that gratitude gets an entire chapter in the book I wrote with Ann Saylor for educators, youth leaders, and parents called Groups, Troops, Clubs & Classrooms: The Essential Handbook for Working With Youth. In there, lessons of gratitude are shared as a tool for maintaining personal power and strength . . . and teaching youth to do the same.
Summer, our tail wagging, body wiggling, four-pawed bundle of pure joy, showed up in our lives, in our opinion, to share with us how to live from a deeper place of gratitude and to enjoy life’s moments happily.
Summer, a beautiful black and white border collie/lab, has been THE Gratitude Coach for 12 ½ years of our lives who was sent to teach us personally. When you are daily confronted with unconditional love, acceptance and enthusiastic eagerness just because you exist, you tend to pay attention to what that person – or dog – has to communicate.
To date, Summer’s time with us has passed on these lessons:
- Show love first thing each morning.
- Be joyfully exuberant when doing what you love.
- Delight in the now.
- Always show appreciation to others.
- Work and contribute.
- Presume friendship.
- Just be.
- Sleep and eat regularly.
- Offer presence.
- Be patient.
- Play. Always play.
And it was only in a traumatic, life-changing event that Pete and I were able to articulate a final parting lesson from Summer . . .
Lesson #12: Enjoy everything, no matter what.
It was on a Tuesday, after a long weekend of Summer being sick (unusual for her because she always bounced back after a max of two days), that we went into the vet and were shocked with the news that no dog owners want to hear: our sweet dog was terminally ill and the kindest thing we could do was let her go. I won’t belabor the particulars, only enough to make her lesson point. Summer gave no indication that she was doing poorly over the weeks or months leading to her passing. She followed all the rules of the lessons she had taught us, although some days might have been slightly slower and she did sleep a little bit more (both of which we chalked up to the nearing of her thirteenth birthday). Regardless, she religiously continued to show enthusiasm for each moment and to live each moment to the fullest that she was capable of doing.
It was on her last day – armed with the new knowledge that she had probably been sick for awhile – that we were struck at how she exemplified enjoy everything, no matter what. Never did she show pain in the time leading up to this Tuesday. And on this Tuesday, while lethargic in the morning and obviously not feeling well, she enthusiastically got into the car for every trip we made that day (four total including two to the vet – a lot of jumping in and out!).
Knowing it was her last day, we made sure we had one more play day together so that she could enjoy her favorite dogs, places and things to do. At the park, she explored and made her own path off the beaten trail. At our friends’ house, she exchanged sniffs and licks with her doggie friends and received head rubs from her human friends. Tired afterwards, she pulled away to herself to rest but allowed me to read to her and be near her while we waited for the time to go back to the vet. And going back to the vet? She eagerly looked out the windows and showed every sign of enjoying the ride and being with us. Even at the vet’s, she showed interest in other dogs and humans who were around.
And then she called it a day. But it was a great day. Despite feeling awful. Despite having given up eating a couple of days before. Despite the cancer eating away inside her which was causing her to waste away. Despite it all, Summer lived her life out to the fullest, and it was in this last day that we shook our heads with amazement at how long she had been showing us how to enjoy everything, no matter what.
No matter what physical pain may grab you; no matter what disease may try to ravish your body; no matter what age you may be; no matter what job you may have or not have; no matter what obstacles life may hand you . . . you can still enjoy the life you have. You can be in each moment and savor it or devour it or inhale it. You can choose. It’s your choice. It’s within you to do it.
And that may be the best example of grateful living in action that I’ve ever seen lived out. The challenge now is to follow that example. Evidently Summer thought we were ready. Are you?
Today, live in answer to her challenge. Follow her example.
Summer, July 9, 2002 – June 17, 2014
If you need a dog in your life or want to support abandoned dogs and cats, consider one of the agencies that help support strays and abandoned animals. We got Summer from Freedom Farms who set up at Pet Smart in Rivergate on Saturdays. Good people who are doing heroic work in caring for animals.
Filed under Gratitude, Nurturing Families, Positive Youth Development, Self Care, Uncategorized, Youth Leadership and Youth Power | Tags: dogs, gratitude, mindful practice, possibilities, stories, Summer | Comments Off
What Experts Say about “Groups, Troops, Clubs and Classrooms: The Essential Handbook for Working with Youth”
We promised to share more about our new book, Groups, Troops, Clubs and Classrooms: The Essential Handbook for Working with Youth. This is what the experts from youth development and educational fields are saying…
“ This book is inspiring, well-researched, and immensely practical. I love how it views young people as leaders to be empowered rather than problems to be fixed. A highly useful tool for people who work with youth.”—.” Dr. Eboo Patel, Founder and President, Interfaith Youth Core
“ An invaluable guide to bringing out the best in all young people. Whether you work in a school, a youth program, or are an engaged neighbor or family member, this book provides tips, tricks, and insights on how to help all young people thrive.” John S. Gomperts, President and CEO, America’s Promise Alliance
“ Everyone who cares about youth knows that connecting with them is critical. Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor have written the book that shows how. This indispensable resource, brimming with practical ideas, will be read, re-read, and dog eared by teachers, coaches, youth workers. and anyone working with youth.” David Walsh, Ph.D., author of Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen
“ In order for young people to thrive, they need three champions: family, school, and community. This book is a valuable, practical guide to help youth thrive over time.” Cathy Tisdale, President and CEO, Camp Fire National Headquarters
“ If you are ready to truly adopt a strength-based approach in your work with young people, this book will help you lay a solid foundation.” Dan Dummermuth, President and CEO, YMCA of Middle Tennessee
“ The tools and resources in this book provide adults with concrete approaches to support young people as they become leaders and thriving community members.”
Elizabeth Kaeser, Senior Manager, generationOnFiled under Nurturing Families, Uncategorized, Youth Leadership and Youth Power | Comments Off
Summer Days are a 12-part blog series focused on lessons of gratitude passed on from dog to human. This human is still trying to embrace daily the lessons of gratitude – so much so that gratitude gets an entire chapter in the book I wrote with Ann Saylor for educators, youth leaders, and parents called Groups, Troops, Clubs & Classrooms: The Essential Handbook for Working With Youth. In there, lessons of gratitude are shared as a tool for maintaining personal power and strength . . . and teaching youth to do the same.
Summer, the four-pawed Gratitude Coach, who came into our home over a decade ago, has taught us many lessons in being happy every day. Last blog we shared her value in showing love first thing every day (lick, nuzzle, thumping of tail in pure excitement . . .) with greeting and showing affection.
I’m not sure why, but Summer chose the act of me brushing my teeth to be her signal that we were going to get ready to go for a walk. I can’t begin to tell you how tough that choice has been. Why not when I put on my running shoes? Or pick up her leash? But, brushing teeth in the morning?
Philosophically, I could read into that choice as her nudging to say, “You’ve got your teeth done, now it’s time to take care of the rest of your body. Good choice! Let’s go for a walk.” I could but . . .
Whatever was going on in that doggie brain, the fact remains that she has always LOVED going for a walk. When she knows we’re going, she talks, she dances around and it’s the only time she EVER shows impatience. Once the decision is made, she is simply mad to get going and is so excited she’ll run from human to human to dog . . . or from dog to human to human – depending on where one is standing.
In other words, she is joyfully exuberant and shows extreme gratitude for getting to do the thing she loves.
What do you love to do? Do you include it in your day? Do you take it for granted, or do you show gratitude for “the thing” you love doing facially, verbally or with full body wag and dance?
Today, remember to express thanks in some form (we recommend the full body wag just for the heck of it) for the things you do that you enjoy. Those things – be it sipping coffee, drawing, running, building, making a pie or shooting hoops on lunch break – are the very things that add life to the day and are worth noting and giving thanks for every time. . . because you just never know if some day they may slip away from your life and then you’ll miss them.
If you missed the first lesson, click here to read about the importance of showing love first thing each day.Filed under Gratitude, Practical Ideas, Self Care, Uncategorized | Tags: mindful practice, stories | Comments Off
Meet 15-year-old Diego Alvarez, founder of Shoeing, a nonprofit that provides footwear to shoeless youth in El Salvador. Diego and some of his friends decided to address this need in their local community. In less than a year and 2,000 shoes later, what started as a local high school service project has spread to high schools throughout El Salvador and now Honduras.
|Read more: Shoeing in El Salvador|
I love the 4 ideas shared in this blog! Click through the article to read more about each idea:
1. Send your books on a journey
2. Make your library mobile
3. Build a tiny library
4. Have a book exchange party
Here’s the full article: Love Your Books? 4 Ways to Share Them With Others
Filed under Creative Literacy, Service-Learning, Uncategorized | Comments Off
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn’s house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.‘Forget the daffodils, Carolyn!The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!’
It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swathes of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time–often just one baby-step at a time–and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world .
‘It makes me sad in a way,’ I admitted to Carolyn. ‘What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!’
There is no better time than right now to be happy.
A few weeks ago, we led 10 onsite service stations for 200 students at Ensworth High School’s Social Issues Conference. Most young people love animals, so we wanted to include a project to help animals. We issued the challenge to make toy for the cats at the Nashville Humane Society and the Cheatham County Animal Control. The students responded in full force, making 108 toys to give to the shelters.
The students were so creative! We gave them plastic golf balls with holes, sharpie markers and colored pipe cleaners. They made dangle toys, swinging toys, and bumpy ball toys. They were decorated with swirls and stripes of every color. And of course we had a lot of orange, since that is one of Ensworth’s colors We can’t wait to give the toys to the shelter!
If you’re looking for an easy way to serve animals without leaving your campus, call your local animal shelter to see how you can help! Or we would love to coordinate a day of service for your students!Filed under Service-Learning, Uncategorized | Comments Off
We love games, we love helping children and we love service; so we decided to connect all of those passions when we were invited to lead 10 onsite service stations at Ensworth High School’s Social Issues Conference.
We partnered with NAZA (Nashville After Zone Alliance), whose afterschool care providers are always looking for creative ways to engage young people in learning. Ensworth students created and/or shared 20 games that the children can play with a deck of cards. They are creative and they are fun! We will be sharing them with the NAZA site directors next month.
How could your students help younger children in your community? Could you create games? Lead games? Read together? Coach a sports team? Lead a sports clinic? Tutor?
The possibilities are endless. Take Ensworth’s lead, and find a way that your students can make a difference – on campus or off campus!
If you are looking for a great onsite service project in middle Tennessee, you might consider partnering with Charis Ministries, like we did for the onsite service stations at Ensworth High School’s Social Issues Conference.
Students worked together to pack 131 bags of rice for Charis Ministries to share with local families in need. It was a great tangible way for young people to help hungry families without leaving campus. There are other ways you can help at Charis too:
Host a Food Drive
A food drive at your church, neighborhood, or school can reach many, many people in need. Charis supplies information, flyers, and barrels to collect the food contributions. We keep it simple so the emphasis is on helping people in need.
To deliver boxes of food, volunteers from local churches come together on Saturday’s. A couple of adults or a family with kids picks up the food boxes and household information, including maps, for each home they will visit. Recipients have pledged to remain home until the food box arrives. Along with the box of food, volunteers offer their friendship, encouragement, and prayers. Interaction is both informal and respectful.
Find out more – 615-373-1261 – firstname.lastname@example.org
Reading. Books are such a big part of my life, I just can’t fathom not being able to read a book and let its story whisk me away to far away places, crimes to solve, princesses to rescue for dragons and ogres to defeat.
And yet, literacy remains of high concern for us as a community. Whether it’s the joy of reading a bedtime story or the simple ability to navigate life – reading and writing one’s name, a job application, a driver’s license test or doing papers for a loan, so much depends on being able to read and write.
At our Service Station booth focused on literacy at the Ensworth Social Issues Conference, we asked students and teachers to share their favorite books for teenage girls, teenage boys and younger children. Together, they shared 285 of their favorite books that they think everyone should read.
Fortunately, the sharing doesn’t stop there. The banner of book titles is being delivered to local libraries for them to hang up as an exhibit and an invitation for others to write on the “book wall” their favorite books, too.
If literacy and a love of books is something you want to share, check with your local library to see how you can get involved. They have opportunities for adults and teens to be involved.Filed under Creative Literacy, Service-Learning, Uncategorized | Comments Off
Delightfully powerful organized Chaos. That’s the best term to describe our day on April 25th. We organized and hosted the service experience for Ensworth High School’s Social Issues Conference.
Almost 200 students and teachers ran through our room in four 30-minute blocks. And in that 30-minute chunk of time, they offered hope and inspiration and fought injustice on a world and local level. With the help of 11 student service station leaders, both youth and adults learned about 11 different agencies and the opportunities they have for teens to volunteer. And more importantly, they got to work and tackled 11 different issues . . . and made a difference.
What can 200ish people complete in 2 hours? Let us count the ways . . .
Earn 22,000 grains of rice on Free Rice to help feed others globally
- Write 55 personal letters to soldiers in the military
- Create 45 door decorations to cheer families staying at the Ronald McDonald House
- Bag 131 quart size bags of rice for Charis Ministries to be shared with families in need
- Decorate 67 placemats with words of encouragement and hope to go to senior citizens who get meals from Meals on Wheels
- Make 76 cards of cheer for children and teens who are in the Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt
- Write up and/or create 20 games to be shared with day camps and after-school programs
- Make 108 cat toys for the animal shelter
- Write down favorite book titles on the “book wall” for the Nashville Public Library (285 titles shared)
- Add 58 “happiness songs” on a youtube channel (the link was shared with friends to spread cheer AND the link was included in the get well cards for the Children’s Hospital)
- Sign Amnesty International petitions against human rights injustices – 78 signatures
This is the difference that was made in one room, during the school day, on-site by many hands . . . on a Friday. They shared their time, abilities and voice to stand up for others and make a difference. The difference they made didn’t stop with walking out of the door. In fact, as they walked out the door, students were given the Smile Challenge from KindSpring – a challenge to pay-it-forward and do an anonymous act of kindness for someone else and to leave the Smile card behind that challenges the recipient do the same. Two hundred cards were taken – the possibility of 200 acts to be done and then that multiplied even further as others take up the idea.
What DO you do to make the world a little better for your neighbors? How do you listen to the needs around you and offer hope or lend your voice for those who can’t be heard?
Share your ideas with us on the things you’re passionate about and how others can get involved. We’d love to hear!
If you’d like us to organize and host a service day (onsite or offsite) for your school, business or organization, we would love to talk with you more. You can contact us at cad@TheAssetEdge.net.Filed under Service-Learning, Uncategorized | Tags: service-learning | Comments Off
I’ve had several different conversations about building community this month, so I thought I’d share six steps to building community. These steps work with youth and adults. They work in schools, community organizations, churches, and businesses. It’s a common sense structure for building groups that know one another, care for one another, and work together well.
STAGE 1: STARTING OFF RIGHT Every group has a beginning. How they begin is important. Starting a group off right can save you from having to go back later to do damage control or try to re-establish connections that didn’t take the first time.
STAGE 2: BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS Relationship building is on-going. Natural changes within group dynamics can impact group bonding. This calls for attention and care to be given to intentionally engaging, energizing and strengthening group identity on an on-going basis.
STAGE 3: BECOMING A TEAM With time, groups evolve from many individuals into a cohesive unit. This happens as friendships develop and trust takes root. Groups need to discover and develop their team identity through team builders that require trust, cooperation, communication and working together.
STAGE 4: DEEPENING TRUST Deepening trust is vital to the health and cultivation of successful teams. Thriving teams must stretch beyond their comfort zones and dare positive risks, both emotionally and physically. The rewards are self-discovery, confidence, group cohesiveness, confidence in voicing opinions and achieving goals.
STAGE 5: CHALLENGING THE TEAM With established trust comes the ability to tackle new risks, further develop leadership skills, practice critical thinking and decision-making skills and resolve conflicts. Teams are put to the test through challenging, stress-induced activities that call for various leadership strengths and styles.
STAGE 6: AFFIRMING GROWTH & CELEBRATING SUCCESSES Transitions offer opportunities to reinforce established bonds, recall important moments, group experiences, learning and growth. They also provide a time to celebrate talents, time together, successes and positive group identity. Marking these moments lets the group experience real affirmation and accomplishment.
We originally shared these stages in our book, Great Group Games: 175 Boredom-Busting, Zero-Prep Team Builders for All Ages, published by Search Institute in Minneapolis. The book contains instructions and reflection questions for 175 games that correlate with these 6 stages. The games will help usher your team or group through all 6 stages of group development – and you’ll have a lot of fun playing with purpose!
Taking time to build this kind of community will transform the attitude and personality of your group! I’d love to hear what you have done to build strong community in the places you live, work, and play.
Filed under Managing Conflict, Uncategorized, Youth Leadership and Youth Power | Comments Off
A stage one teambuilder from the Great Group Games book
Time: 15-20 minutes
Supplies: paper and pen for each participant
Give each person a piece of paper and ask them to write their full name in large letters across the middle of the page. Then ask everyone to mingle for 5-7 minutes, searching for “connections” (commonalities) they have with one another. When you discover a “connection,” write your new friend’s first name in crossword style to connect with your name, then record your specific commonality on the back of the page. See how many connections everyone can find in a short amount of time.
§ How can we be so different, yet so much alike?
§ How does finding commonalities affect your comfort level in a group?
§ Do we take the time to find commonalities in everyday life? Why or why not?
§ Does finding commonalities make it easier to start conversations? Build relationships?
Assets: interpersonal competence, safety, positive peer influence, supportFiled under Creative Play, Developmental Assets, Uncategorized | Comments Off
I just learned a new card game from Jennifer at 6ftmama. It’s called Sevens, and I think I played it once years ago. I look forward to teaching our kids! Check out verbal and pictorial directions at the link here. Happy card playing!
annFiled under Educational Resources, Uncategorized | Comments Off
A game from the Great Group Games book
Time: 20 minutes
Supplies: a post-it note and pen for each participant
Give each participant a post-it note and a pen. Ask them to draw 2 lines (making a “t”) that split their paper into four squares. Have them fill in the blanks for the following questions:
*Something you liked doing when you were younger that you still enjoy
*One of your favorite things to do outside
*Something you’d like to learn more about
*A place you’d love to visit one day
When everyone is done, ask people to partner up with someone they don’t know very well, share names if they don’t know them and share the answers to their questions. When you blow the whistle, ask participants to find a new partner. After rotating through 5-6 partners, ask the group to form a circle and share some of the things they learned about one another.
* While talking with others, did you remember any fun activities that you especially enjoy?
* What kinds of topics were other people interested in learning more about?
* Did you discover anything that you had in common with someone else in the group?
Assets: Support, commitment to learning, safety, interpersonal competence, constructive use of timeFiled under Creative Play, Developmental Assets, Uncategorized | Comments Off
Have you ever frozen bubbles? Have you caught any of your frozen bubbles on camera? Check out this post to learn how to freeze bubbles and take great pictures of the bubbles:
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